"CONTEST" only 1 post per hour
- Thread starter YZ Otis
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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies.
Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies.
Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
WTF.............. i just went to read that blonde joke to the wife.. i turn around and she is curled up in a ball in the recliner sleepin...
sublime -- Smoke 2 joints
I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joints at night
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
Oh, my daddy he once told me, "Son, you be hard working man"
My mama she once told me, "Son, you do the best you can"
But then one day I met a man who came to me and said
"Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head"
So now,
I smoke two joints when I get up, in the car I smoke two joints
I smoke two joints when I play video game
And at every ten thousand points
(I smoke two joints)
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
Oh, my daddy he once told me, "Son, you be hard working man"
My mama she once told me, "Son, you do the best you can"
But then one day I met a man who came to me and said
"Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head"
I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joints at night
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joints at night
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
Oh, my daddy he once told me, "Son, you be hard working man"
My mama she once told me, "Son, you do the best you can"
But then one day I met a man who came to me and said
"Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head"
So now,
I smoke two joints when I get up, in the car I smoke two joints
I smoke two joints when I play video game
And at every ten thousand points
(I smoke two joints)
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
Oh, my daddy he once told me, "Son, you be hard working man"
My mama she once told me, "Son, you do the best you can"
But then one day I met a man who came to me and said
"Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head"
I smoke two joints in the morning, I smoke two joints at night
I smoke two joints in the afternoon, it makes me feel alright
I smoke two joints in time of peace, and two in time of war
I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more
OK , this is a Creepy story , true too .
This story is out of england .
A Fellow worked as a Bridge operator at the same bridge for 40 plus years , he left his home everymorning , after eating breakfast he would ride his bicycle to work , 7 miles away . He rode all year round , no matter the weather he religiously rode his bike .
One morning he arrives at work , same manner , sets his bike , same spot , hangs up his hat and his coat and sets his lunchbox in the same spot. Walks past his fellow emplyee whom is the night operator of the bridge .
The Night operator as usuall passes by his co-worker , just as he has for the last 15 years and tells him to have a good day. No response , which is out of character and again says see you later , and again no response . Finally he nudges the mans shoulder and the man slumps over in his chair , obviously dead .
The coroner was called , and upon the preliminary investigation , the dead mans core temperature indicated he had been dead for about 3 hours . even though he had just arrived at work 45 minutes earlier .
The ONLY explanation offered by the dead mans wife , was his routine was the same , everyday he went to work it never ever changed . and that even though he died on the way to work , his body finished out what it started to do that day .
This story is out of england .
A Fellow worked as a Bridge operator at the same bridge for 40 plus years , he left his home everymorning , after eating breakfast he would ride his bicycle to work , 7 miles away . He rode all year round , no matter the weather he religiously rode his bike .
One morning he arrives at work , same manner , sets his bike , same spot , hangs up his hat and his coat and sets his lunchbox in the same spot. Walks past his fellow emplyee whom is the night operator of the bridge .
The Night operator as usuall passes by his co-worker , just as he has for the last 15 years and tells him to have a good day. No response , which is out of character and again says see you later , and again no response . Finally he nudges the mans shoulder and the man slumps over in his chair , obviously dead .
The coroner was called , and upon the preliminary investigation , the dead mans core temperature indicated he had been dead for about 3 hours . even though he had just arrived at work 45 minutes earlier .
The ONLY explanation offered by the dead mans wife , was his routine was the same , everyday he went to work it never ever changed . and that even though he died on the way to work , his body finished out what it started to do that day .
Good morning blasterforum time to wake up and give me the chain well I'm off to school unfortunately
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