Farting Neighbor at the Urinal - I almost fainted, dude.....
LMFAO!! ROLF LOL LAWLERS and all that!!
LMFAO!! ROLF LOL LAWLERS and all that!!
best of craigslist?????
- Thread starter 4cfed
- Start date
just in case it gets flagged..
just incase it gets flagged:
Farting Neighbor at the Urinal - I almost fainted, dude..... (Stinkville)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-wxwk4-1121883465@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-14, 11:14AM CDT
Like others who post here, I am somewhat particular about my bathroom habits and hate public restrooms. But, when nature calls, it can't be avoided. So today, after a few cups of java, I get the call to go and just happened to be in a public place. Oh well, I'll just take care of business and quickly exit the dreaded public disgrace of the restroom. So I find the cleanest of the 3 porcelain urinals (one looked like it had grown a beard...sheesh) and began to relieve myself......quickly. And of course, some guy pulls up next to me, gives me a nod (c'mon, what are you saying - "Hey dude, going #1?? Me too!") and starts to relieve himself too and he suddenly lets out a loud and dramatic "AAAaaaaaaaaaaah" and begins his business. Oh great, I think to myself, one of those Mensa-rejects who have to announce loudly that they are doing #1......yay, like anyone was waiting is suspense to guess what is was you were doing standing in front of a urinal with your wang out. Your mommy is so proud of you I'm sure, Slingblade. Now, I admit, as picky and clean as I am, if I am alone and doing the stand up #1, I will let a let a air biscuit go if necessary. But if I am surrounded, I will try to keep it to myself as a courtesy to the fellow gentlemen around me. Not this dirtbag. This guy launches the atomic BigBoy of all farts. It started out like a loud growl and ended by sounding like someone throwing wet mud at a wall. Ugh...toss those Fruit of the Looms out! The crotch of those probably looked like a mixing bowl full of fresh brownie batter with choclate chips. But that wasn't the end. Oh Lord no! The fowl, wretched, rancid meat stench of that ass bomb had me seeing stars almost immediately. I started to cough and gag.........light a match, start a fan, something! Suddenly all the guys washing their hands (yes, some of us do) ran for the door in a near stampede. My vision was beginning to tunnel and I was afraid I wasn't going to stay conscious. What the hell did this guy eat?? Roadkill? A sh*t-Burger? A dead body? I have never smelled a fart like this........ever. I hurried my whiz, shook it once, and put my goodies away. I made a bee-line for the door, and as I left, I gave my heinous death-gas dealing neighbor a dirty look and made a gagging noise. 30 seconds more and I would have needed supplemental oxygen or brain cells would have been compromised.
So, to you, my foul, wretched urinal neighbor......get a colonic dude!!! I almost fainted. Sheesh.
just incase it gets flagged:
Farting Neighbor at the Urinal - I almost fainted, dude..... (Stinkville)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-wxwk4-1121883465@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-14, 11:14AM CDT
Like others who post here, I am somewhat particular about my bathroom habits and hate public restrooms. But, when nature calls, it can't be avoided. So today, after a few cups of java, I get the call to go and just happened to be in a public place. Oh well, I'll just take care of business and quickly exit the dreaded public disgrace of the restroom. So I find the cleanest of the 3 porcelain urinals (one looked like it had grown a beard...sheesh) and began to relieve myself......quickly. And of course, some guy pulls up next to me, gives me a nod (c'mon, what are you saying - "Hey dude, going #1?? Me too!") and starts to relieve himself too and he suddenly lets out a loud and dramatic "AAAaaaaaaaaaaah" and begins his business. Oh great, I think to myself, one of those Mensa-rejects who have to announce loudly that they are doing #1......yay, like anyone was waiting is suspense to guess what is was you were doing standing in front of a urinal with your wang out. Your mommy is so proud of you I'm sure, Slingblade. Now, I admit, as picky and clean as I am, if I am alone and doing the stand up #1, I will let a let a air biscuit go if necessary. But if I am surrounded, I will try to keep it to myself as a courtesy to the fellow gentlemen around me. Not this dirtbag. This guy launches the atomic BigBoy of all farts. It started out like a loud growl and ended by sounding like someone throwing wet mud at a wall. Ugh...toss those Fruit of the Looms out! The crotch of those probably looked like a mixing bowl full of fresh brownie batter with choclate chips. But that wasn't the end. Oh Lord no! The fowl, wretched, rancid meat stench of that ass bomb had me seeing stars almost immediately. I started to cough and gag.........light a match, start a fan, something! Suddenly all the guys washing their hands (yes, some of us do) ran for the door in a near stampede. My vision was beginning to tunnel and I was afraid I wasn't going to stay conscious. What the hell did this guy eat?? Roadkill? A sh*t-Burger? A dead body? I have never smelled a fart like this........ever. I hurried my whiz, shook it once, and put my goodies away. I made a bee-line for the door, and as I left, I gave my heinous death-gas dealing neighbor a dirty look and made a gagging noise. 30 seconds more and I would have needed supplemental oxygen or brain cells would have been compromised.
So, to you, my foul, wretched urinal neighbor......get a colonic dude!!! I almost fainted. Sheesh.
thats jokes. lets keep this thread going and all the craigslist whores can post them in here. just sayin that for the ones that dont understand... i know blasterdude119 is deprived of posting craigs ads lol.
I struggled to finish reading it because I was in tears! That is hilarious. *Copy, paste, send to all friends and family...*
got to give the poster props on that one, very well thought out and typed store, with the details needed to get the story in your head lol!!!!
if your ever bored just got to craigslist and read the 'best of' adds some of that stuff is off the wall!!
if your ever bored just got to craigslist and read the 'best of' adds some of that stuff is off the wall!!
Wow thats exceptional! ! Reminds me of a guy I work with... He farts that smell like his colon has been dead for years, and is rotting.. You all know that "old man fart" smell !
My mom works with a guy that is almost 90 years old. He does the accounting for their business. He's so old that he doesn't even realize...or maybe care, that he farts anymore. Seriously...he will be standing there talking to you then just bust ass. He doesn't flinch or crack a smile or anything. You would swear that he didn't even know that he did it. When I was in high school and I would talk to him, I would laugh my ass off when he did it. He would be telling me a story and just let one rip. I would look at him in disbelief and just laugh. I think that after 90 years of flexing your rectum, it is probably just worn out...or the nerves are just dead and you no longer feel it....
